The 9 Types of Boyfriends
- Joe Sensitive
- "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?"
- Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup
- Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
- Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy
- Old Man Grumpus
- "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV."
- Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk
- Advantages: Stays put; predictable
- Disadvantages: Royal pain in the ass
- Flinchy
- "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did."
- Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you
- Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled
- Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle
- Bigfoot
- "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'."
- Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' Dumb
- Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled
- Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig
- Lazybones
- "Zzzzzz"
- Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict
- Advantages: Well rested; easy target,always get lucky
- Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfill your dreams
- The Sneak
- "Who, me?"
- Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a Bitch
- Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt
- Disadvantages: May be having time of his life
- Ace of Hearts
- "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?"
- Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster
- Advantages: Perpetually aroused
- Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused
- The Dreamer
- "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--"
- Also known as: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind
- Advantages: Tells good stories,w
- Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus",Manipulative,
- Mr. Right
- "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?"
- Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy
- Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer
- Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction
what type of boyfriend you have?
